Let me start by saying that I love the Internets. What was life like before I was connected to the interwebs? I surely don’t remember. There used to be something called an encyclopedia and folks would have to risk embarrassment to procure their porn. Not anymore. I’ve got Wikipedia and well I’ll let you in on a little secret, psst, there’s a ton of porn on the Internets. It’s got everything you’re in to and a couple of things you’re not. Anyway I digress.
Last night, I was surfing the web (that’s code for browsing) for a new pie filling recipe. No really, I wasn’t looking at porn. As I was searching for “pie filling.” I started wondering about my obsession, Bill O’Reilly. I had read on Drudge that he was hot under the collar about the Washington Post. No doubt, they had had the nerve to bring up his sexual harassment story. This led me to look at Bill’s Wiki page to see if perhaps the anniversary of the Falafel Incident was coming up. Nope, that date is October 11. Mark your calendars because we’ll all be eating falafel that day and talking dirty on the phone.
Bill’s Wiki page did mention his wife’s name, Maureen McPhilmy. So of course I Googled it. I’ve got to get a look at the woman that married the Falafel King. Not bad, a little to tall for me, but then again I’m practically a midget. I read a little further and then the shocker! I fell out of my seat laughing. I could not believe that Bill O’Reilly is playing sloppy-seconds to none other than Public Enemy’s Hype-Man Extraordinaire, and star of VH1’s “Flavor of Love” the one, the only Flavor Flav!!!! Here.
That’s right, Bill’s old lady was dating Flavor Flav before she met Bill O. No wonder Bill has it in for rappers. Can you imagine how uncomfortable Bill must be at the Grammys. Hey Bill, Flavor Flav is over here and he’d like to say “hi boyeeee.”
I’ve always been a fan of Flavor and believed that he was the first and greatest hype-man in rap. Little John owes his whole career to Flav and should be paying him royalties since the Krunk thing is merely a derivative product of Flavor Flav. Flav’s contribution to hip-hop aside, Flav is one ugly dude plain and simple. To think that Bill is kissing a woman that kissed that. Makes me want to go out and get a solid gold grill to put over my teeth.
Reflecting on this has made me feel sorry for Bill. It certainly explains his anger and desperate attempts to hook up with his female producers. Bill take my advice, rinse out you mouth once in awhile. Peace - I’m outta here.
“I’ve always been a fan of Flavor and believed that he was the first and greatest hype-man in rap.”
ARRRRGHRRRRRGH!
May he choke on his Mad Dog.
And didn’t she date Ted Kennedy, too? Or is that just a hoax?
According to the source (and I believe everything that is on the Internets) she did in fact date Ted Kennedy. I didn’t think that Bill & Ted were that far apart on a human level. Bill is one dead chick away from being a Kennedy and he did get a master’s degree from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government.
Could this woman be Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure?
I cannot believe I missed this post the first time around. That is a sex tree I want no part of. Don’t worry guys the brothers gonna work it out.
[...] King Bill Orally’s wife, Maureen McPhilmy, had once dated the human cockroach Flavor Flav. Here. Of course, we emailed the O’Reilly folks to confirm but our email was likely overlooked. [...]