by Duke, PolitiPorn Int’l Bureau Chief
Iraq
After this week’s testimony by Gen. Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker the folks at www.moveon.org are scrambling to come up with another hack bullshit nickname, but Gen. Petrue-dat seemed to have held his own while stretching the truth and omitting some harsh realities. Two points to be filed under fun fact were:
- (1) According to Gen. Persuadeus rational people could not be against the war.
- (2) While our economy is crumbling, the government of Iraq has a substantial surplus.
Senator McCain had a senior moment and actually predicted that that if we leave, Iraq would simultaneously become a haven for Al-Qaeda and a slave to Iran. (Read a book butt-munch, no Shi’a country will ever become a safe haven for Al-Qaeda.) I used to like this guy, but it is irresponsible to run for president without a basic understanding of Islamic terrorism ideology. He also repeated the popular warhawk cadence that we must choose withdrawal based on the “situation on the ground” rather than an artificial timetable. Guess what moron, the push for withdrawal is based on the situation on the ground. He still thinks that opposition to the war is just a flower-power fueled middle finger to Pres. Bush. It must not occur to the opposition that we have 4,000+ dead soldiers, taxpayer funding of Sunni militants, treasonous mistreatment of veterans, and emotional torture of military families.
The best line from the hearings had to be when Crocker (of malarcky-er) referenced for the zillionth time Osama Bin Laden’s comment that Iraq will be a perfect HQ for Al Qaeda in response to a question by Evan Bayh (D-IN) prompting him to reach back like a pimp and say…
We shouldn’t be taking our marching orders from Osama Bin Laden.
(Note: Despite a furious letter writing campaign, my coverage of the hearings was compromised by a scheduling conflict with both a psychologist and psychiatrist appointment.)
China
The Olympic torch has been the target of a global smear the queer game, bringing even more disgrace to the dumbass Olympic planning committee. The punch-line is that nearly every protest has targeted a different aspect of the tyrannical Chinese Government’s internal and foreign policy… Tibet, Burma, Sudan, torture, censorship, arbitrary arrest, etc. etc.
United Kingdom
This is an oldie (but goodie) that I missed last month. Shannon Matthews, the little girl that disappeared in England was found alive. The details are pathetic, but I thought she was dead. I’m smitten with her aliveness.
Afghanistan
In Afghanistan, yesterday, a suicide bomber killed at least eight and wounding 24, all civilians. Who gives a shit, right?
Look butt munch, have you ever been in the Military? Al Queda will once again take over Iraq and eventually nuke America. We need to blow that place into a glass dish then I will feel safe. The military wants to do this but the damn American public feel we need to be politically correct on this issue.
Go write for one of those rag papers like Star magazine.
Ralph
Ralph why all the hate brother? First caveat here, I didn’t write this wonderful piece and I am merely the Editor-in-Chief of this blog. Second, that’s “Senior Airman Butt Munch” to you pal. That’s right, I’m liberal, I’m a Democrat, and holy crap, I served! Essentially, I’m 3 things your beloved W is not, liberal, Democrat and a true veteran.
Your argument is both stupid and lacks the requisite logic for posts on this blog. Let me show you just where you went wrong. Sit back you may learn something.
Al-Qaeda entered Iraq only after we did. This is despite the propaganda you’ve been spoon fed by the likes of Flush Windbag, Sean Vanity & Bill O’rally. To quote Bill Murray in “Stripes”, “That’s a fact Jack.”
If Osama and his boys wanted to nuke us, don’t you think they’d have done it by now? On two seperate occasions, private citizens have been able to sneak radioactive material into this country without being caught. Luckily for us, both tries were mere attempts to see if it could be done.
You can’t honestly think that the people serving in our military would really want to nuke Iraq. Let’s put all of the PC crap aside. Do you really believe that our soldiers, airmen, seamen and marines are that bloodthirsty or callous that they want innocent people including women & children to be vaporized? The fact that you do believe this tells me one thing, you never served. Unless you count serving an extra side of fries with a Big Mac as “service.”
I am now done with you, you may return to the rock you crawled out from under. Go back to surfing for kiddie porn, you’ll do less damage with that. AMF.
Duke- good one. Very good.
Senior Airman Butt Munch: I adore you. Really. But not in a creepy way.
Shushie – The adoration is mutual…and equally uncreepy.