By Stewie & PolitiPornster
The drum rolls, the envelope is passed. Ladies & Gentlemen, the official AssHat for the week ending June 20, 2008 is none other than conservative talk show radio blowhard (and I mean blow hard) Mr. Lars Larson!
To the uninitiated, the picture appearing above is AssHat Larson. You’ll note he’s striking a pose that’s eerily similar to this photo:
What the Hell is up with the smugness being accentuated with a cigar? Could the cigar be some phallic symbol of solidarity? Perhaps a secret symbol of membership in a secret order maybe one that’s initials are N.A.M.B.L.A.? Of course, Rush’s troubles with priming the pump are known and documented, but could Lars the AssHat being using the cigar to compensate for something? Didn’t Bubba use a cigar or its tube not just to compensate but as a stand-in for something? Ah, so be it. Let’s get to the nasty business of why Lars Larson is an AssHat. Note: Lars Larson is not the drummer and impresario of the heavy metal band Metallica, although, that guys a royal AssHat as well. Lesson here, don’t name your kid Lars!
On Thursday night’s edition of Verdict with Dan Abrams (Yes, I know it is completely unwatchable. And why does he keep reminding us he is lawyer if he doesn’t do legal news? But I digress.) The discussion was about Michele Obama’s infamous “proud” comment and why should she be taken out of context, but an equally ambiguous statement by John McCain does not receive similar treatment. Lars Larson either did not understand the premise of the questions posed to him or chose to ignore it. He instead launched into a prepackages easily digested rant on truncated quotes and dubious paraphrasing of statements made by Mrs. Obama along with an incredulous questioning of why she is not more grateful for the opportunities she has been given. (Page 234 of your “Conservative” playbook).
Time Magazine’s Jonathan Alter pointed out that Larson’s statements had a racist sound to them, but offered that he was not saying that Larson was racist.
At this point an ordinary man would be paralyzed by the notion of being viewed as a racist, but the true AssHat perseveres. This is the stuff that separates ordinary men from AssHats.
Responding to the point that one statement should not be taken as the sum of a person Larson proceeded to “defend” his position by pointing out that Trent Lott was judged by his “one statement” made at “an old man’s birthday party.”
There you have it. Having ranted in a way that reasonable people might come to the conclusion that there is some latent racism behind the argument Larson defaults to pointing out how unfair it was for Trent Lott to be run out on a rail after he suggested that the country would have been better of if it had elected a man who ran on the slogan “Segregation Forever” to the presidency.
What is truly funny and very likely lost on the FOX viewing audience, is that AssHat Larson’s defense of himself and Trent Lott’s one statement, undermined his argument about Michelle Obama’s ONE statement. Then again, there are separate standards for conservative talk show host. Don’t believe me? Just look into Flush Windbag’s drug arrest history.
Somewhere in this is boat load of Alanis Morisettesque irony, I’m sure of it. It is kinda like rain on your wedding day or some good advice you just don’t take. Actually, I have advice for Lars: stick with the brain dead folks over at FOX. That channel was invented to make conservatives look and sound smarter. This includes you Lars Larson, Racist Asshat.
Even though I am conservative and get called a Rush cronie regularly…I like few celebrity conservatives, Rush being one of many. The cigar is a smug attempt at Clinton symbolism. I think it means they are smoking the Presidents…well you get what I am saying.
N
“Perhaps a secret symbol of membership in a secret order maybe one that’s initials are N.A.M.B.L.A.?”
HAHA, I love The Daily Show.
Ok, so this is just another example of a double standard in politics.
What I don’t get is why we are the only country in the world who insists that we are better than everyone else, and then rant that anyone who doesn’t share this view is unpatriotic.
I can COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND why a black woman would finally be proud to call herself an ‘American’.
It’s one thing to espouse that all men are created equal, and to rah-rah for the ‘best democracy in the world’ – but not everyone feels that America has lived up to it’s PR. To call it so, seems hollow and hypocritical.
Instead they have the PROMISE of the best democracy in the world, which has only really been delivered on recently.
As someone who uneasily watched Hillary get eviscerated in the media – especially over the crying thing – it was another reminder of how much ‘the best democracy’ falls short. Now, I was not interested in voting for her, but as a woman I was OUTRAGED and frustrated over the unfairness of it all.
We still have a ways to go. To say that I am always proud of being American would be false. Sometimes I am downright EMBARASSED to be an American, especially when it comes to dealing with other countries.
Better here than elsewhere, but the price of admission should not be the unswerving devotion to a hollow ‘America’ and a flag lapel pin. I have high standards and I want the real thing!
I want the America I see when the ACLU stops schools from making kids pray.
I want the America I see when the ACLU protects a child’s right to pray in school.
want the America I see when I read the Constitution.
I want the America I see when I look at the Bill of Rights.
I want the America I see when having a dissenting opinion doesn’t make you an enemy of the people.
That’s the America that makes me proud.
Upon notification of his honor, Mr. Lars “AssHat” Larson responded. Granted, it wasn’t really an acceptance speech, but it’ll do. Here it is:
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Couldn’t actually take issue with anything I said could you? must be frustrating. Let me know when you have an actual response to the candidate’s wife who hates the country that afforded her such a wonderful opportunity
Lars
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Mr. Larson also provided some links which basically come from the GOP talking points memo title “Obama Unpatriotic and UnAmerican.” It’s the same old, out of context cock & bull pushed by Flushed Windbag, Sean Vanity and apparently now, Lars “AssHat” Johnson.
Although the better part of me is reluctant to post such garbage, I do try to run a fair shop over here. So in the interest of fairness and brevity, here are the links Mr. Larson provided: (Lars – one of the links was invalid, I think it was a New Yorker article so resend if you’d like)
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/03/10/080310fa_fact_collins?curr
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/2008/view.bg?articleid=1074519
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2006/09/hospital_offici.html
Oh, one more cite here which the video from Dan Abram’s show which put Lars in the AssHat Awared:
Pol,
Don’t know this Lars guy and I am barely familiar with Dan Abrams (no cable in the house.) Let me ask you Pol… In what universe does a priss repeating media weaned sound bites make him part of the Klan?
Having grown up down in Klan country (we had a local chapter? in my home town) I don’t think you are aware of their vitriol.
al sends
@AL – Point taken. The Klan reference was a bit harsh but it’s a canned reference with secondary meaning that plainly spells out the racist tone of Mr. Larson’s comments. You’re correct in that his comments don’t quite reach the level of speech spewed by Klan die hards.
Hayden, I’m with you on the Bill of Right and the Constitution. However, the Constitution has become known as a “Breathing Document”. I hardly think so.
Regarding Mrs. (or Ms. depending on her preference) Obama’s proud of America gaf. I read somewhere that out of the mouth the heart speaks. So she just spoke what was in her heart. You can’t blame a person for being/showing who they realy are.
One thing has always bothered me. I think it was back in the 70s & 80s when planes were falling out of the sky at a pretty regular rate you would hear news reports such as this; “A Russian air craft crashed today killing all aboard. Three Americans were amoung the dead.” As if a single American has more value than any single Russian or any other person.
However, having said that, if you don’t think that (over all) the United States of America offers it’s citizens more rights, freedoms and oppertunities… well you are just mistaken. If not USA then which country is it? One has got to be the best.
As an aside you mention Senator Obama not wanting to where the flag lapel pen, like it’s no big deal. Well once again I must disagree with you. I think it just goes to the core of his values. He does not recognise one of the symbals of this great country as something worthy of displaying. The Marines at Guadale Canal did! When my son-in-law (Sgt. Buddy James Hughie) was KIA in Afghanistan on February 19, 2007 his casket was drapped with the American flag. Buddy was serving as a US Army medic while shot by a Taliban sniper. He earned the right to have that flag on his casket. Do you suppose Senator Obama would want the same privilage? If so… what the heck has he done to earn it? I know what the laws say, so don’t try that he is a US Senator junk. I don’t think any politician has earned the right to have their casked drapped with the American flag. But I don’t get to make up the laws.
I think the difference is that I am not comparing America to all the rest of the countries in the world (since I don’t know), I am comparing America to AMERICA.
Don’t raise me and my fellow students on a diet of America-is-the-best, in-America-everyone-is-equal so that I can leave school feeling betrayed by my 7th grade civics class.
We are finally starting to live up to the promise of AMERICA. For the first time, I AM proud to be an American. being a proud American isn’t a prerequisite to living in this country.
Why should I be proud of the way we put Fidel Castro and Sadam Hussein in power?
Why should I be proud that the people in government are so corrupt it’s not even news anymore?
Why should I be proud that the religious leaders of this country are caught doing EXACTLY what the preach against doing?
Why should I be proud that if you are a liberal, you are guilty until proven patriotic, but if you are a conservative, you can go flag pinless with impugnity?
Why should being an American be rubberstamping everything that comes out of the Whitehouse, otherwise you are unpatriotic and unAmerican?
That’s not an America I’m proud of. I completely understand where Mrs./Ms. Obama is coming from. It’s about time we started living up to what this country is supposed to be, instead of enforcing a pro-patriotic diet for the sake of patriotism.
As a woman, I am MORE THAN AWARE that America offers more opportunities than many other countries. But if the highest a woman can aspire to is First Ladyship, then WE HAVE FAILED AS AMERICANS. As a person of Mexican descent, from the people who lived in Texas before it was part of the United States, I am WELL AWARE that we bulldoze through anyone, any country, any where to get what we think we are entitled to.
Well, I am sorry, M54 – I know you mean well – but YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO MY PATRIOTISM. You have to earn it. Just like I have to earn my right to vote and be a citizen. It is a two-way street and the government’s side of the street has LET ME DOWN.
I want what was promised me in 7th grade civics class. Freedom of Speech. Freedom of Religion. The right to trial. The right to due process. The right to protection from the government. The right of a government by the people and for the people.
But this mindless “rah-rah, America’s the best routine” can’t last forever…because not even the Romans are the world superpower anymore.
you are a little pussy…..go suck your boyfriends dick…liberal limp wrist
Thanks Matt! I know that your comments were offered in an attempt to sew of the seeds of bipartisanship in this new era.
I glad you took the time to craft such an inspiring message and even took the novel approach of throwing aside all punctuation rules. Nice Touch.
I love the way ppl like “matt” make posts that can’t be linked.
Do you think his first name is “door” or “car”? In either case it sounds like he has become irritated by people using the bottom of their feet to groom him.