Okey dokey, the price of a gallon of gasoline has gotten way out of hand. I know that right now you’re thinking “come on PolitiPornster, tell me something I don’t know.” We could go on for days about how and why this is happening. We could debate the merits of drilling offshore vs. alternative fuels. In the end what would all that get us?
The offshore drilling prospect sounds reasonable enough but best estimates predict that it’ll have no real effect on the oil market for 5 to 10 years! By that time we’ll all be using transporters like on Star Trek so who the hell will need gasoline? Further complicating this is that the US doesn’t currently have the refining capacity to make anything out of the oil it would pull up from the ocean. I don’t know how long it takes to build a refinery, but I’m guessing it takes little longer than say throwing up a Wal-Mart on Main Street.
The alternative sources front doesn’t look to good either in my opinion. You have an auto industry that is so wedded to the gasoline barons that they can’t part, let alone go out on their own and make cars that run on water! Wouldn’t that be great. Just turning on the tap of your garden hose, and filling your SUV’s tank whilst simultaneously washing the damn thing. That’s multi-tasking at its finest.
Fear not, my little PolitiPornsters, I’ve spent considerable time developing a plan that will lead us out this crisis. In fact, I put all of my favorite Monday Night shows on TiVO just so I could mull over the current gas crisis. Friends, I’ve found the solution and I call it “Oil for Food II”.
Just the other week, the Saudi Royal Fat Cat told Americans that we just better get used to the idea of paying big dollars for gasoline. This from the guy who we saved his butt in 1991 when it looked as if Saddam was going to break a foot off in his ass. Oh Arab puhlease!
My response to the King is this: “Where do you live?” Let me give you a hint, the King lives in the FUCKING DESERT! Do you know what grows in the desert? Nothing and a lot of it. These folks only live in the desert because there is oil. You probably know where I’m going with this.
America is and has been for some time now, the “Bread Basket” of the World. What’s to say we couldn’t start matching the price of grain with the price of oil? Where are the Saudi’s going to turn? India barely makes enough food, particularly grains, to feed it’s own people. Buying food from the Chinese is crap shoot considering they have no qualms with loading their product with melamine and other plastics. Many of the other countries that grow substantial amounts of food do not have the distribution networks of the US nor the capability to bring the foods to market in Saudi Arabia or other Middle East countries. So tell me King, where you going to get the vittles?
That’s it in a nut shell. Now, I don’t expect Bush to threaten his adopted family with such a plan. I’d hope that McCain might or that should Obama be allowed to keep his testicles, that he might threaten the King with starvation.
Well, that’s the plan. It’s simple really. If the Saudi’s decided to play hard ball we could take the extra money we’d make off the grain and develop our offshore drilling and refining capacity. The food is our leverage. They want food, we want oil.
Feel free to chime in with other add-ons to the Oil for Food II Program.
” By that time we’ll all be using transporters like on Star Trek so who the hell will need gasoline?”
Oh, Politiporn, you just know how to make a girl dream!
I like the concept and hope that it would work. If Saudi HAD to buy most of its food from China it would definitely grow tired of chicken, rice and fortune cookies!
I think the Saudi’s got the message:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/25680397
You can thank me later.
Dear College Lawyer Boy;
With all due respect I have grown a bit tired of the left’s excuse “well if we drill now it will be 5, 8 or 10 years until it will have any effect”!
To me that’s kind of like a fat guy/gal saying “well I’m not going to diet or excercise because it will be forever until I get results. Although I know diet and exercise will eventually pay off, I’m just goint to wait until…. maybe something better comes along.”
Yeh, that might work. So how’s that been working for you lardo?
But I like your starve the fat greasy guys to death thing.
And what’s with Mexico side-drilling and selling us our own oil?
Lastly, can anyone tell me of a single oil platform disaster in the Gulf? Anyone? Anyone at all? There hasn’t been any!
mssc54,
There have been more than 125 oil spills in the Gulf, from platforms. You are thinking of the lie told by some airhead broad on Faux who shrilly claimed that there had “been none! Not one!” She was either uninformed or she was lying to you.
Dear video lad; you make your point so eloquently. Your parents must be so proud of the fact that you are a loving and (obviously) kind hearted individual.
I actually have not gotten my information from any news sources. However, being from Louisiana, have had many relatives actually working on off shore rigs (it’s kind of a tradition for some of them). None of them are aware of any accidents (to speak of). I did hear a couple of weeks ago on NPR that the total of oil in the ocean only 1% is attributed to rigs in the gulf. But that’s NPR I don’t put much stock in what they say. It’s probably like half of a percent.
Once again thank you for being such a kind hearted human being. I wonder what the world would be like with more people just like you? Wouldn’t that be just a lovely thing?
In closing, I would like to say that if watching, what you refer to as Faux gets you so upset try this…. There’s something that goes with your TV. It is usually rectangular in shape. It has numbers and arrows and possibly other symbols. Well if you would try pushing either one of the arrows or a number perhaps you will find something more to your liking. Maybe ScFi channel or something like that.
Now in my final closing… just one last suggestion; I am sure you have seen (on those television commercials) where those elderly people become ill with a hear attack or such and they push that little button on that cute little necklace worn around their neck. Well, get yourself one of those. You seem a bit “high-strung” and after all, the world needs people like you to keep things in line.
I sure hope all this has been helpful. Best of luck with all of this. Happy to help!